HUMOR: Winner!

Not mine.  From here.

A Minister was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age.

The group had surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked "What are you doing with that dog?"

One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we've decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog."

Of course, the reverend was taken aback. "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie," and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie."

There was dead silence for about a minute.  Just as the reverend was beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "All right, give him the dog."

HUMOR: Oopsie!

Not mine.  From here.

A story was told of a man who had a debt and for a long time failed to settle it with his debtors. One day seated outside his house, he saw his debtors coming and very quickly he called his young son and told him if anybody asks about his whereabouts, he should answer that he has gone for a journey to see his people in another village. He then quickly decided to hide behind a large cabinet in the living room.

When the debtors arrived, they asked the young boy, “Son! Where is your father?” “He said he was going to another village to see his people.” the boy replied. Then debtors asked the boy “When is he coming back?”.

The young boy confused rushed towards the house and to the cabinet shouting, “Dad! When are you coming back?” 

HUMOR: Lying

Not mine.  From here.

A minister told his congregation, “Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17.”

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Several went up. The minister smiled and said, “Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying.”