HUMOR: Copy and Paste

Not mine.  From here.

A pastor I know has a standard liturgy for funerals. To personalize each service, he uses the Find and Replace command on his computer to replace the name of the deceased from the previous funeral with the new name.
      The next morning, the funeral was going smoothly until the Apostle's Creed. "Jesus Christ," the congregation read from the program, "born of the Virgin Edna..."

HUMOR: Pain in the...

Not mine.  From here.

At Sunday School they were learning how God created everything, including human beings. Johnny was especially intent when the teacher told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
      Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?"
      Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."

HUMOR: What makes for a good sermon?

Not mine.  From here.

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.  - George Burns

HUMOR: Fund-Raising Ideas

Not mine.  From here.

One Sunday the Reverend Jones announced to his congregation, 'My good people, I have here in my hands three sermons...... 
A $100 sermon that lasts five minutes
A $50 sermon that lasts fifteen minutes
And a $20 sermon that lasts a full hour.

Now, we'll take the collection and see which one I'll deliver.'

WEEKLY COMIC: How's your endurance?

BONUS COMIC: Psalms Cry Out

HUMOR: Copy and Paste

Not mine.  From here.

A pastor I know has a standard liturgy for funerals. To personalize each service, he uses the Find and Replace command on his computer to replace the name of the deceased from the previous funeral with the new name.
      The next morning, the funeral was going smoothly until the Apostle's Creed. "Jesus Christ," the congregation read from the program, "born of the Virgin Edna..."

HUMOR: Pain in the...

Not mine.  From here.

At Sunday School they were learning how God created everything, including human beings. Johnny was especially intent when the teacher told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
      Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?"
      Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."

HUMOR: What makes for a good sermon?

Not mine.  From here.

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.  - George Burns

HUMOR: Fund-Raising from the Pulpit

Not mine.  From here.

One Sunday the Reverend Jones announced to his congregation, 'My good people, I have here in my hands three sermons...... 
A $100 sermon that lasts five minutes
A $50 sermon that lasts fifteen minutes
And a $20 sermon that lasts a full hour.

Now, we'll take the collection and see which one I'll deliver.'

HUMOR: Watch those corrections!

Not mine.  From here.

A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon.

"How do you know what to say?" he asked.

"Why, God tells me."

"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"